Do I just go with the flow?

“My gf barely gives me attention but I know she is busy. Should I get use to this drag or what should I do? I tell her how I feel and she stays the same. Do I just go with the flow or what? She drags because she works a lot and is always busy. But I feel like I need attention and affection. What do you think?”

Estrella:

Hi! It seems your love language is quality time, which is when you feel most loved when spending time with your significant other (for more info, open https://www.blinkist.com/magazine/posts/love-language-quality-time). Definitely don’t ignore how you feel, as it is never needy to communicate you need more time with her, but remember it’s unavoidable that schedules will interfere. It can feel invalidating when you ask your partner to shift for your needs, and can even start a one-sided disconnection, but there is always a reason for one’s actions. After a long period of work it could be draining for her to be social after work. What I would recommend is communicating if you can see her before work. You can start off slow by FaceTiming at night filling each other in with your daily lives. You could even visit her during her break times by surprising with her favorite snacks or even lunch. Doing projects, hobbies, clubs, or sports while she is busy can also help with her absence. 

Getting into a new relationship is like a rollercoaster; it starts off fresh and lovey dovey because you could never see their image as less than perfect. But as time goes by, you notice their flaws and differences between each other. It’s all up to the couple if they want to continue working on their relationship, or saying hasta la vista. 

Estrella

I feel like I changed…

“I’ve been friends with this girl for 3 years. We recently got into a fight and made up, but I feel like I changed and she didn’t at all. I have new friends, a new boyfriend, a different life. I don’t think it’s healthy for us to be friends anymore but I don’t know how to tell her…”

Estrella:

Hello! I’m sorry about your argument with her. It’s never the best feeling getting into disagreements. There are two ways to see this. Some relationships are meant for only one era of your life, not forever. Don’t feel bad for realizing you outgrew a person who was by your side when you needed them at that time. You developed without her, and that’s not your fault. If the friendship is turning toxic, it’s not wrong to remove someone who is stopping you from developing. But your friend may be going through personal issues that are projecting not you. I suggest asking about how she is doing personally, but don’t feel obligated to stay because of guilt. Separate designated time to tell her how you have been feeling, because it is better to be straightforward than ghosting her, leaving her in the dark. 

Estrella

They both like me back!

“I like 2 guys at the same time and they both like me back! What should I do?”

Estrella:

Hello! That’s a tough situation to be in! First, I would debate the pros and cons of each person. Notice who has more pros than the other. At times, many people would choose the person who makes you chase, but that can only leave you drained chasing an unavailable person. An analogy to use could be who would you bring to a dance? Besides appearance, who is more appealing ethically? Who has better morals, who opens all your doors and respects other people they don’t know? Lastly, seeing how a person gets angry will represent the person’s true colors. 

Estrella