Terry Fabianski is a senior at DePaul Prep. He is involved in many extracurricular activities such as being a member of student government, president of Spanish Honor Society, co-editor in chief of the yearbook club, manager of the girls’ volleyball team, and player on the boys’ volleyball team. When it comes to managing all his extracurriculars, Fabianski simply hangs up the phone. “It’s really deciding when to hang out with friends or focus on school and extracurriculars,” said Fabianski.

In the latest issue of the Ram Page’s advice column, Terry Fabianski is here to answer your questions and concerns.

Do you have any college readiness advice? 

Don’t be afraid of trying new things. Don’t be afraid of the people around you, and don’t be afraid of the people that are there to help you. Get accustomed to both having liberties, but also having to make choices because if you can’t do that, then you won’t be able to function in college. You have to be able to really grasp the sense of self and be comfortable with making your own decisions with the thought that somebody might not be able to help you, you might have to make decisions on your own.

What do you do about a fake friend dating your ex? I want to drop her because she lied and manipulated me, but we have been super close for three years. I just don’t understand how she could do this to me. 

I think that if you have had poor experiences with this person, and you’re really close with somebody, then they’re probably aware of these experiences. I think in order to maintain a friendship, you need to be there for them. I think the best thing that you can do is be there for them when they need you, but don’t invest so much of your time into something like this because you don’t know how long it could really last.

How do you tell someone something that might hurt their feelings?

I do the sandwich method. I tell them a compliment and then I lay it on them and tell them flat out. Then I tell them another compliment and I do it in conversation. I think if you soften the blow before and after, they’re more inclined to be acceptive of what really is constructive criticism.

I have a crush on my best friend’s brother. Is it bad if I pursue him?

I think that’s a lot of time around one specific family, and I’m worried that trying to spend time with one or the other would be harmful to the other relationship. If you’re trying to date your friend’s brother, but you’re also trying to be your friend’s friend, then it’s going to be weird, especially with the possibility of this kind of relationship not lasting. I’m going to say for the sake of a friendship, don’t do it.

What is the best sandwich place in Chicago?

In terms of chains, Potbelly’s has my heart. My favorite is Avocado Turkey. In terms of local places, there’s this place in Jefferson Park that’s kind of new and it’s called Bust-Out. I’m usually reluctant to go to newer places, but I liked this one. Some of the sandwiches that they have are called the Green Line sandwich or the Blue Line sandwich. They’re all titled after lines on the L, and I think that’s really fun.

How do you make friends, especially in college?

I find a spot where I know I’m going to be forced to meet new people. That sounds silly, but in college, nobody is going to know one another. I think the best way to make friends is to find a place where you’re going to have to work with others, so you’ll just have to meet people. It’s kind of forcing yourself to have to interact with other people.

How do you let go of toxic relationships?

If the friendship is still going on, slowly distance yourself from that person. If you have a class with them, just minimize conversation, minimize contact, and do it kind of slowly so then it fades out on its own. If you are already not friends with this person, do not speak to them at all.

I feel like everyone around me knows where they’re going to college and what they want to do with their lives, but I have no idea. Is this bad? 

Absolutely not. You’re in high school. You don’t need to know anything. Nobody knows anything for certain. You can have experiences and you can be experienced in something, but you’re never certain about something. Nobody is 100% sure about what they’re actually doing, and it’s all just going along and learning. It’s fine to not know what you want to do now, tomorrow, or later in life. Just go with the flow.